WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
