did you get engaged???
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize