My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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