How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
