Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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