Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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