What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i've created a new STD.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
