i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need water and some morals
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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