Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
