The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
