I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my phone needs a breathalizer
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
