He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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