Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
