if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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