I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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