HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
