Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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