Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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