i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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