we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
