Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
