i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
