google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
