so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
