If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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