***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
