He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my liver is dry heaving
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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