i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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