We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize