It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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