I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
