I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
