Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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