yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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