i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
