What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
