Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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