There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
