think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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