You just made me feel so damn special
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
