My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
