Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
