so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
