The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
