So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
