Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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