she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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