i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
