Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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