Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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