Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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