I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
