I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
