just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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