I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
