There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
