Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

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(408): View more from California

I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that

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(541): View more from Oregon

I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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(706): View more from Georgia

We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.

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(208): View more from Idaho

dont eat that thats our sex nutella.

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(317): View more from Indiana

As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform

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