Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
