I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
