sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
