I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
