Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
