matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
