Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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